I have been silent from the blogger sphere for more than a month. It is expected that at some time there will be a final post. This is not it. The final post may occur as a natural result in the wavering in commitment or interest.
The average person’s attention span is less than that of a goldfish. In 2012 that was measured at 9 seconds, a second behind Nemo. For humanity this was a 4 point loss in two years. Is instant gratification or on sell marketing the only solution to future consumerism?
In the case of blog sites of cancer survivors, an absence is either a new affirming phase of too busy paragliding or the worse case scenario, a change in life status. Perhaps it is simply a case of nothing of substance to reflect but a continuance of a post treatment malaise. At this stage, only 49% of the previous words have been read. One hundred words is the limit for some of us. You are doing well. Stay with me if you can.
Between the rise and fall of daily recovery, where one moment of renewed strength is replaced by unyielding fatigue, lies the space between. This space is one of uncertainty and profound change. It is one that is rapidly shifted by the fear of reoccurrence at the arrival of bodily discomfort or pain. A space that requires a barrage of tests and days of waiting to reconfirm that a new battle has not begun.
This is the space where I now exist. Some call this the ‘new normal’, but I’m too ‘Louise L Hay’ to give this state permanency in my reality. This slither of awareness has not melted into my consciousness. The road of recovery is ‘long, with many a winding turn’. This is not an intellectual challenge or one that can be spun on a ‘positive mantra’.
Thanks for the additional 4.4 seconds of your precious time that you have spent on the extra 253 words in this post. Truly I value the art of perseverance, though at time, the space between feels like the same rock in a whirlpool of shitty water.